At
the clinic..
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The
instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with
informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage
of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good
for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't
hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, Ah Beng raised
his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Can she carry a golf bag while we walk ah?"
Looking
for a job..
The police was looking for a detective, so Ah Beng went in to try out
for the job.
"Okay," the officer drawled, "what is 1 and 1?" "Eleven,"
replied Ah Beng.
The officer thought to himself, "That's not what I
meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter
T?" "Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Ah Beng supplied a correct
answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Ah Beng looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard
for a minute and finally admitted, "Don't know lah!" "Well, why don't
you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Ah Beng headed straight to the cafe, where his
pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. He was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already
working on a murder case!"
Nothing
is impossible..
Teacher: ....So boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible!!!
Next day Ah Beng came up to the teacher with a tube
of toothpaste in his hand.
Ah Beng : Sir, yesterday you said nothing is impossible.
I squeezed out all the toothpaste and now I cant put it back it into
the tube again. Can show me how to do that ah?
Ah
Beng behind bars..
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each
allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time whilst
stuck behind bars. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So,
what did you bring?"
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated
that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the
"Picasso of the Changi Jail."
Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned
and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin. Any
number of games."
The third convict, named Ah Beng, was sitting quietly
aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why
are you so smug? What did you bring?"
Ah Beng then pulled out a box of tampons and smiled.
"I brought these."
The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you
do with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according
to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating..heh,heh!"
Lastly
....
Japanese
Ah Beng...
A waitress walks up to the table of three Japanese men at
a New York City restaurant. When she gets to the table, the waitress
notices that the 3 men are furiously masturbating! She asks,"What the
hell are you perverts doing?", to which one of the men replied,"We all
berry hungry"! She responds, "But why are you whacking off?" One of
the three says, "Because menu say `first come, first served!"
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