The
'Dear Beng' Letter...
Ah Beng, serving his NS overseas and far from home, was annoyed
and upset when his girl - Ah Lian, wrote breaking off their engagement
and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his
friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled
them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following
: 'Regret can not remember which one is you. Please keep your photo
and return the others.'
- How do you make Ah Beng laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
- "Oh, look at the dead bird."
Ah Beng looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?
On
a Fishing Trip..
Ah Beng & Ah Seng rent boat and fish in a lake everyday.
One day, they caught 30 fishes. Ah Beng said to Ah Seng, 'Mark this
spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow.'
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, Ah Beng asked
Ah Seng, 'Did you mark that spot?' Ah Seng replied, 'yeah, I put a big
X on the bottom of the boat.'
Ah Beng said, 'You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat
today!?!?'
Ah
Seng's Car...
Beng and Seng exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove
the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Beng asked,
'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.' 'No, that won't work' answered
Seng. 'People will think we're trying to break in.'
Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the
rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?' 'No,' said Seng.
'People will think we're too dumb to use a coat hanger.'
Then (kan cheong) Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast.
It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'
Lie
Detector..
An Englishman, an American and Ah Beng are called upon to test a lie
detector.
The Englishman says, "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer." BUZZZZZZZ,
goes the lie detector. "OK," he says, "10 bottles."And the machine is
silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers" BUZZZZZZ, goes
the lie detector. "OK," he says, "8 hamburgers."And the machine is silent.
Then Ah Beng says, "I think ah" BUZZZZZZ, goes the machine.
Lastly
.... Ah Beng ordered a pizza
and the waitress asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
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